I finally let the warm tears stream down my face as I hid in the comfort of the closed door of the cold bathroom stall. It was comforting. It felt like the tiny space was holding me, keeping from completely breaking down. I am not the type of person to lose her cool. This was only the 2nd time in 2.5 years on this job. Yes, I said job. I have let a job I hate stress me out so much I had a nervous breakdown.
But why? Why do we let our jobs get to us? Hell, some even brag about how stressful their job is. The more stressful it gets the more awesome they feel; they feel more like they are doing something with their lives. Let me break it to you, you can do something that matters without losing your cool.
I mean if you think about it most of us who work under stress are working to achieve someone else’s dreams. I am working 45 hours a week doing something I never wanted to do because this one corporate managed to convince me and 8000 others that we are awesome just for working there and that everyone else wants to be us. I cried for working for a corporate which in 10 years won’t appreciate the years I put in and ask me nicely to leave because they want to reduce their budget and replace me with a younger model.
As I hid in the comfort of the cold bathroom stall, I have made the decision to not waste anymore time of my life doing something I hate for a corporate that won’t appreciate it. From now on I am on the hunt for something that I love, something that matters to me and makes a difference. I will let go of the prestige and status for the sake of my own mental health.