After a recent mental breakdown because of my job I decided to take some time to think and not make any decisions. I had to regain control over my life; rediscover my passions, know what love and what I wanted to do.
During this journey I did not discover my passion, but I discovered somethings way more important. I have discovered that it’s not my full-time job that is holding me back from knowing what I love and what I wanted to do. It is me; my habits.
Below are the habits and that have been holding me back and I am now on a new journey to replace them.
I have noticed that whenever I am talking with my best friend, work colleagues or even just to myself I am always always complaining about my job, how I am not following my dreams, how this job is slowing me down ,..etc. This has made me more miserable than I actually was, as my brain was only processing the bad parts of my life.
2. After Hours
Yes, I put a lot of hours in my job but I do make it a rule to leave at a reasonable hour every day, hence, I have time after hours. But how do I spend this time, you ask. Well, as a person making herself miserable I spend those hours trying to numb my brain through watching countless hours of TV.
3. Negative Self-talk
I have been literally my worst enemy and harshest judge. Always telling myself what I can’t do, what I have done wrong.
4. Listening too much
Not everyone will believe in you. And as Egyptians we LOOOve giving our opinions to everyone around us about their life choices. I listen way too much to every single opinion and focus on the negative parts and playing them over and over again in my head.
5. Losing Sight
I have stopped setting goals. I now go to work mindlessly do whatever comes to my mind that needs to be done with minimal focus all while scrolling down the different social media platforms on my phone and somewhere along the way this has become my way. I no longer have my ultimate goals in sight until I have actually forgotten about them.
So, basically this is what has happened to me since I was this ambitious fresh graduate. I am currently in the process to kicking those habits and replacing them with new ones. Will keep you posted.